Sunday, October 4, 2015

Paula's Come-Uppance Cake

For D & J, who get married this weekend. Luckily, neither will have a mother-in-law like this...

"THAT LITTLE FLIBBERTIGIBBET!" I thought the minute I clapped eyes on my son's bride coming down the Pullman steps. "Can't boil water, I bet!" It made me sick, Donnie meeting Paula on that cruise down South and marrying her. I'd had Nan Blaine here at home all picked out for him. Nan can cook.

What every mother-in-law really wants to know: not do they really know each other or will this end in tears in a few months, but can she boil water.

I bet the narrator lady can boil water just by glaring at it.

WELL, SHE AND DONNIE got to housekeeping.

I wish this was some midcentury euphamism. "I have some light housekeeping to do today..."

And right afterwards was our church's annual Cake Sociable. Paula, brash as anything, promised a chocolate cake. "I hate to think what it'll be like!" I told my married daughter, Minnie. "I guess our family's going to have to eat crow before all those folks!"

Chocolate cake? How brash! [swoon]

BUT I GOT MY COME-UPPANCE, ALL RIGHT! Because Paula's chocolate cake beat my cake, and Minnie's, and Nan Blaine's all hollow! It was a new kind, with a custard filling — sort of a cross between Fudge Cake and Boston Cream Pie. The most delicious thing! Folks just went crazy over it!

See, cranky narrator lady? Even not-able-to-boil-water Paula knew there's no crow in chocolate cake. And your family can proudly continue to hold up its head in church, because Donnie may have married hastily but at least the cake is good.

AND PAULA WAS REAL MODEST. "I couldn't have made such a rich-colored, rich-tasting cake without Baker's Chocolate," she said. "And only Baker's Chocolate ever gives frosting such satiny glass and moistness that keeps it fresh. Baker's Chocolate is so much richer, mother always said." And says I, "Paula, your mother brought you up right. And I tell you we're proud to have you in our family!"

I'm actually still wondering, though: Can Paula boil water?!?