"But who are you going to shoot first?" asked Elsie.

Settle down, it's not the "Elmer goes insane and murders his family" storyline that you might have thought from that introduction...

"One side, woman," bellowed Elmer, the bull. "This is man's work! I'll blast the Black Market off the face of the earth."

See? He's just going to murder a bunch of neighbors in a fit of patriotic zeal.

I'm not a bad girl! You're a bad mommy!

I can't even make snarky comments about this one. Just read it.

"You're a bad mommy!" I could hardly believe my ears! Was this my little girl walking to me! Why, I tried so hard to be a good and wise mother. But here was my little Mary looking at me as if she hated me!

"Sorry I married you?" protested Elsie, "Why DARLING!"

"Don't pull that darling stuff on me!" bellowed Elmer, the bull. "What's this mess of beet tops doing in front of me? And why?"